Every so often, it’s good to look back and reflect on what isn’t working so well. If you don’t learn from history, you’re doomed to repeat it, right?
Just because we’re an awesome group of people, we’re going to help you tool newbies out there avoid some pitfalls. Here are Tool Reporter’s Top 5 Kickstarter you should never buy into.
Tool Reporter’s Not Top 5: Kickstarter Fails
#5 Any Credit Card Sized “Multi-Tool”
Come on people, these things are worthless, useless pieces of **** that are as effective at being tools as Millennials are at working. Just let it go.
#4 Cordless Modular Pistol Grip Tools
Okay, Black & Decker tried this back in the day and even they couldn’t sell it. And these are the guys that can make money on a 3-in-1 mower/trimmer/edger that takes 6 years to actually cut an entire yard.
A drill, circular saw, and angle grinder should never be be different heads on one motor. Never.
#3 Miniature Solar Panels
Have you every tried to charge anything used solar panels? It takes like 6000 square inches to charge a ******* flashlight! That little 1-inch necklace solar charger is going to give you enough extra juice to make one phone call every 12 years if you get stuck in the middle of the desert with no hope. Stop it.
#2 Automotive Diagnostic Apps
Newsflash – your phone can’t diagnose any problems with your truck using just an app. Sure, you can make an app that talks to an ODB II scanner, but Siri isn’t even smart enough to know that the highway 67 bridge is no longer there… and hasn’t been for the last 10 years.
Chances are it’s going to tell you that knock in your engine is a problem with your turn signals. Spend the $50 to let a real mechanic look at it.
#1 Animal-Shaped Hammers
If you’re considering a tool because of it’s “cuteness factor”, you shouldn’t be allowed to buy tools. Just because it looks like a rhino or a snake or a chimpanzee doesn’t mean God intended that shape to pound nails. Just go to the store and buy a cheap $10 hammer. At least then your friends will still talk to you.