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This Old House Turns to New Construction after Last Old House Finally Renovated

BOSTON – After renovating old houses for more than 40 years, This Old House has turned to new construction after finally renovating the last old house left in America. “That’s it,” said Tom Silva, host of This Old House, “There’s nothing left. We’ve renovated every old house in America, so the next logical step is to turn our sights on new construction.”

The creative team behind This Old House seemed excited about the new direction the franchise was taking, discussing new potential projects and sponsorships that could inject new life into the series. One of the showrunners, who wanted to remain anonymous, stated “Let’s face it, we knew we were going to run out of old houses eventually… I mean, we’ve been doing this for 40 years. Now we can take all of that talent and exposure to work on new houses? I mean, we can finally pour our craftsmanship into a house that doesn’t cost $800/month to heat and cool and one that doesn’t require 6 weeks of tear-out before we can get to the cool stuff. This is a long time coming, and frankly, we’re ecstatic about putting aside all that nasty reclaimed wood and handcrafted materials in favor of solar-roofs, triple-paned e-glass windows, and Hardieboard. Plus, we’ll never run out of new houses!”

The newly rebranded the show, This New House, will begin this fall with all-new episodes starring the Silva brothers and will focus on brand new home construction projects all across the country. The show will also be spiced up a bit with new segments that build things just to annoy their neighbors, force the brothers to construct a house using only what they can find in a local scrapyard, and build a house in just 100 hours using nothing but Gorilla Glue and toothpicks.

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