CHICAGO – A new study published Monday unearthed a direct correlation between fine woodworking quality and the number of tattoos the woodworker has. “We always wondered why the most amazing woodworking projects were always created by the most tattoed woodworkers and carpenters we’ve ever seen. Now, after an exhaustive study into the working lives of more than 1000 makers, craftsman, and hobbyist woodworkers, we’ve unearthed a direct correlation that can’t be denied,” said Yosef Martinez, a researcher for West Chester University in Pennsylvania.
The study not only looked at over 1000 woodworkers, but it also carefully counted, cataloged, and categorized their body art and tattoos. “At first we thought the main factor was how much they spent on premium coffee, but the data quickly ruled that out. Next, we ruled out beard length. Finally, through a process of elimination, the number of tattoos remained as the key factor.”
When presented with the findings, most of the members of the study appeared surprised, but some readily admitted their skills increased significantly after adding getting some tattoos. “I’ve spent thousands of dollars on Festool, Mafell, and Felder, but in the end, I could have achieved even more had I stuck with Craftsman and gotten some additional ink,” said Stanley Greer, a woodworker in the New England area who was part of the study.
There’s no word on whether further study is needed to confirm the results, but the group plan to expand the research into the construction and automotive industries to see if the correlation also holds true for those markets as well.