WASHINGTON – Responding to a random exclamation of “What are you going to do next? Regulate road dust?” uttered at a town hall meeting, OSHA set to work setting new respirable limits for road dust.
“OSHA just seems to be looking for new and inventive ways to fine people for doing any job that requires common sense safety,” said Gary Burns, reportedly the one who initially voiced his frustration at OSHA representatives during the infamous town hall meeting.
As soon as the words were uttered, OSHA reps could barely contain their excitement as they tabled the meeting at once and huddled in a back room for 6 hours. Emerging from the room, OSHA announced a new rule to follow their 2017 updated silica dust rules, holding an immediate press conference to announce new respirable road dust limits. According to the lead spokesperson for OSHA: “Using Table 1 silica standards as a guideline, we’ve set up some vague and unattainable rules for maximum road dust inhalation limits for all on-site workers and bystanders. Objective data and air monitoring will be necessary—but really, who are we to tell you how to comply or otherwise avoid our generous fines for violating this new arbitrary and random rule.”
The good news is that the action level is double at 50 micrograms and the PEL is 100. The bad news is that nobody knows how the hell they’re going to make it work, but there are rumors of new “job site bubble” technology that will at least contain the dust to the site.