WASHINGTON – Unions are reporting some shocking Q2 numbers as Millennial job site violation reports are up 872% following the introduction of the “See something, Say something” iOS and Android app.
Using the union’s new app-based grievance filing system, Millennials are exposing horrific trends. According to the latest figures:
- Being yelled at by a foreman is up 1,273%
- Safe space violations are up 856%
- Expected start times before 12:00 PM increased 2,902%
- Working later than 3:00 PM is up 4,141%
- Blocked access to support animals rose 548%
- Unavailability of quiet rooms saw a 399% rise
Data from site managers and business owners are also out. Here are the highlights from their reports:
- 80% reduction in work efficiency
- 1,082% in the number of helicopter moms on site
- 6,720% increase in animal feces
- 491% increase in sick days
- 10,922,472,013% increase in reasons why it’s not the employee’s fault
Despite these troubling figures, union representatives are hopeful they will be able to negotiate a more tolerant workplace environment as they educate foremen and business owners in how wrong they have been over the entire course of human history.