millenial job site violationsSafety 

Millennial Job Site Violation Reports Up 872%

WASHINGTON – Unions are reporting some shocking Q2 numbers as Millennial job site violation reports are up 872% following the introduction of the “See something, Say something” iOS and Android app.

Using the union’s new app-based grievance filing system, Millennials are exposing horrific trends. According to the latest figures:

  • Being yelled at by a foreman is up 1,273%
  • Safe space violations are up 856%
  • Expected start times before 12:00 PM increased 2,902%
  • Working later than 3:00 PM is up 4,141%
  • Blocked access to support animals rose 548%
  • Unavailability of quiet rooms saw a 399% rise

Data from site managers and business owners are also out. Here are the highlights from their reports:

  • 80% reduction in work efficiency
  • 1,082% in the number of helicopter moms on site
  • 6,720% increase in animal feces
  • 491% increase in sick days
  • 10,922,472,013% increase in reasons why it’s not the employee’s fault

Despite these troubling figures, union representatives are hopeful they will be able to negotiate a more tolerant workplace environment as they educate foremen and business owners in how wrong they have been over the entire course of human history.

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