AUSTIN – In a complete state of madness and denial, an Austin, Texas man is in counseling after a judge awarded his entire Makita tool collection to his ex-wife following a lengthy and bitter divorce.
Judge Teonna Tribusky-Ishman ruled in late May on the case, stating that, “In the matter of the remaining elements of the estate, it is the decision of this court that the former wife will receive the all tools labeled with the Makita brand name, the 2018 F-250 Super Duty truck, and the German Shepherd. The former husband is to receive the 1997 Trek road bike and sea monkey bowl. Any unspecified assets are to be sold and split evenly.”
“It’s not fair,” shouted Bill Nabisko, shaking with anger. “She hated every moment I spent in the shop working on projects! I painted my truck teal…I named my dog Teal…I called my wife Mrs. Makita! She listed my Miss Makita calendar as part of her grounds for divorce! You’ve left with so little I’ll have to buy Ryobi!”
After bailiffs controlled the situation, the former Mrs. Nabisko was seen smirking as she headed toward a local pawn shop while Mr. Nabisko was comforted by his brother and therapist.