Disillusioned and depressed, a man left the First Bank of Cleveland today, unhappy with the bank’s meager exchange rate for his 450,000 Instagram likes.
“I really thought they would be worth more,” said Stanley, an Instagrammer who used to run his own remodeling business before going full time as a social media expert. “I mean, I spend most of my time taking videos of random stuff and commenting on other people’s posts. You’d think almost a half million Instagram Likes would fetch more than 25 cents on the open market. At this rate, I may have to go back to actually working in my trade and finding actual paying jobs. I probably won’t even have enough time to spend the normal 4 hours a day flipping through other people’s posts and filming stories of myself talking about the latest random thing that pops into my head.”
According to the Federal Reserve Board, the average exchange rate for Instagram Likes is recalculated daily using a combination of reductive chaos theory and quantum mechanics. The current bank exchange rate is $0.00000056 per Like or 1,785,714.28 Likes per dollar.