Mad Libs Announces Press Release Edition2 Products 

Mad Libs Announces Press Release Edition

NEW YORK – Citing a level of excitement not seen since the invention of social media, media and PR representatives everywhere are going crazy over the newest Mad Libs Press Release Edition. Originally designed as a game, marketing assistants and junior account executives everywhere are using the new tool to save time while easily generating dozens of press releases. “The… Read More
Massive Lawsuit Rights Game-Changer Brands 

16 Tool Companies Embroiled in Lawsuit for Rights to Use “Game-Changer”

SAN FRANCISCO – The 9th District Court of Appeals is preparing to hear arguments among 16 power tool manufacturers, each claiming the exclusive rights to use the term “game-changer” in their marketing materials. “As a leader in cutting, sanding, and grinding accessories, our entire company culture is about being game-changing. Accessories that other brands create are just repainted wannabes of… Read More
husky gluten-free Brands 

Home Depot to Offer Gluten-free Tools

ATLANTA – Catering to the needs of wheat-sensitive shoppers, Home Depot will be offering gluten-free tools beginning in Q1 of 2020. “Our new GF line of tools will have the same capabilities and performance of our original products, with identical features and specs,” said store manager Jeff Trigo. “But now, they will be 100 percent gluten-free, bearing a clearly-marked “GF”… Read More
Bosch Colonoscopy BoreScope Products 

Bosch Colonoscopy A55 Borescope

CHICAGO – Marking the North America Tool Manufacturing Division’s first foray into medical products, Bosch released its new A55 12V colonoscopy borescope this week, allowing doctors to work on the undercarriages of their cars and patients with the same tool brand. “We really felt this was a way Bosch could push into an area never before explored by a traditional… Read More
millenial job site violations Safety 

Millennial Job Site Violation Reports Up 872%

WASHINGTON – Unions are reporting some shocking Q2 numbers as Millennial job site violation reports are up 872% following the introduction of the “See something, Say something” iOS and Android app. Using the union’s new app-based grievance filing system, Millennials are exposing horrific trends. According to the latest figures: Being yelled at by a foreman is up 1,273% Safe space… Read More
gender neutral extension cords Products 

Company Launches Gender-Neutral Extension Cords on Kickstarter

SAN FRANCISCO – Tired of having to constantly endure ridicule from their ‘woke’ peers for the use of “male” and “female” to describe extension cord and cable ends, Gender-Bender Cables debuted a line of gender-neutral extension and removable power cords on Kickstarter this week. “These new cords forego traditional labels of male-female terminations and usher in a new era of… Read More
Metabo HT hand tools Products 

Metabo HPT to Launch Metabo HT Hand Tools

BRASELTON – Sensing they hadn’t yet caused enough brand confusion, KKR Investment group has diversified into hand tools with the debut of Metabo HT which will operate as a third separate company under the investment firm next to Metabo and Metabo HPT. “Not to be confused with Metabo or Metabo HPT (which you shouldn’t confuse with Hitachi Power Tools or… Read More
stihl legal video approval Brands 

Video Produced in 2009 Finally Approved by Stihl Legal Department

VIRGINIA BEACH – Don Stephens, former editor of the now-defunct Professional Power Tool Trends blog, received a message on Linkedin from Stihl’s marketing department approving a 2009 video on the BR600 blower. “Stihl commissioned the video to highlight the features of the now 10-year-old backpack blower. Apparently. there was a slight holdup in the legal department’s review of the video… Read More
Greenworks 240V Max battery pack Products 

Greenworks Goes All-In with 240V Battery

MOORESVILLE – Realizing there was still one battery voltage they hadn’t yet tried, Greenworks decided to leave everyone behind and introduce a carted 240-volt MAX battery system that ensures no one will ever compete with their dominance over selling more tool voltages to consumers than Baskin Robbins has flavors of ice-cream. “Our new 600-cell system will output the same amount… Read More